IT DOES NOT MATTER, IT NEVER DID
 

Once, so long ago,
I thought it all mattered,
it just seemed it should,
and so I thought it did.

Most people didn't make it seem,
as if it all mattered,
but no one said it didn't,
so I figured them to have a problem.

During those confused, tender years,
I felt as if it should matter,
but didn't feel as if it did,
so I felt it was wrong within me.

I was never told it mattered,
but was led, in words, to believe it did,
but the actions that I observed,
sure didn't match those words.

Confusing young, growing years,
torn between the matters,
daily battles within,
good times and bad times.

I ran across a book,
already half through my twenties,
it was called, "Does It Matter?"
and the tide had turned.

I found someone who described,
just exactly as I had felt,
that it sure does not matter,
and that it never did.

I felt the weight was lifted,
for I knew then it was not me,
as a matter of truth and fact,
I was among the few who could see.

I lifted the rock I was under,
and slowly did come crawling out,
and new, matter not world,
so happy that I could shout!

I found the common thread,
of why no one will ever say,
that it doesn't matter,
even though they don't act as if it does,
it is their tie to religion.

For people, and most do,
believe in the power of God,
and so they must SAY it matters,
even though they don't feel it does,
but, for the sake of those around them,
they sure don't want to stand out,
or to be labelled, one of THOSE,
or take a chance,
on being wrong.

I have found that being happy,
is cutting loose from those ties,
the ties to think it matters,
or to even pretend it matters,
when you, inside, don't feel that it does.

My life has been a total difference,
from the day, now long ago,
when I came to terms with what I thought,
and matched it to what I felt,
and for now I know so well,
I doesn't matter,
and it never did.

Those who think it does,
those who think it should,
those who think they ought to,
those who feel bad that they don't,
those who can't come to terms,
with the facts of what they feel,
or of what they think,
or of what they fear,
are and will always be,
seeking happiness,
and running scared,
afraid to discuss,
afraid to wonder,
afraid to admit,
afraid to question.

They will ride the IT MATTERS train,
down the IT DOES NOT MATTER tracks,
filled with confusion,
filled with mistrust,
feeling the train does not match the tracks,
headed to heaven, via hell,
headed to good, via bad,
always wanting to make you feel,
as guilty as confused as they are.

This is something I came to terms with,
more than thirty years ago,
I still feel the wonder and the happy,
of that moment of my discovery,
I still do my best to share,
do my best to help,
do my best to convey,
do my best to save,
and of happy I DO know.

I write this to my friends,
I write this to all I know,
I write this to all there are,
for all in Fresno and beyond.

If you think anything matters,
you will be in a haze and a daze,
if you feel like it is you,
then you are on the wrong track,
if you feel you will find,
something out there that matters,
it is the illusion of the millions,
millions on wrong trains,
millions on wrong tracks,
millions following aimlessly behind,
millions who follow blindly,
the things that matter,
into the ocean of it doesn't matter,
and it never did.
 

©Written by: Ed Kassirer
June 3, 2003